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What to do and what not to do on Bar Mitzvah

Bar mitzvah is an important ceremony for all the representatives of Jewish culture. There are certain rules concerning Bar mitzvah attire, behavior, foods, and activity during the event. Jewish laws are quite strict and conservative concerning Bar mitzvah and Bat mitzvah. That’s why it is vital to know the requirements before you start planning your ceremony or visit one.

bar mitzvah at the western wall in israel
Bar mitzvah ceremony at the Kotel

Clothing for the service in synagogue

The first thing you should know is your dress. It is vital to wear something modest and respectful. The Bar mitzvah invitations usually have information concerning the appropriate attire. There are general requirements as well, which are as follows:

  • a shirt with the buttons and a suit (a nice choice for men)
  • a pretty dress or a skirt, which is at least of a knee length (for women), in specific colors.

Besides, there are special accessories for men, which are required to wear during the ceremony. They are:

  • Tallit (it’s a shawl for a prayer)
  • Kippah (religious people wear it permanently as a sign of respect).

Sometimes Tefillin is also required when the event is planned for the days of public Torah readings and Tefillin is a must for Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s boy/girl.

bar mitzvah+kotel masorti

Respectful behavior

The next important issue is your behavior. It is necessary to be respectful to the event, God, occasion, and the family. Thus, try to forget about your mobile phone, videos & pictures, smoking, and other disrespectful behavior. It’s better to try to avoid speaking too loud (unless you’re singing when songs are run).

Besides, it’s necessary to get ready for the dynamic service. Bar mitzvah ceremony never deals with a quiet listening of a Rabbi. You’ll have to participate in the service. There is nothing to worry about. You can just look at the others and do the same things. It is easy even if you attend such an event for the first time.

The service in the synagogue might last for 2 hours, so it is okay if it is a bit hard for you to follow it.

bar mitzvah in the western wall
Bar mitzvah ceremony at the Kotel

Gifts etiquette

Another important issue for the participants of the Bar mitzvah event is a gift. In most cases, a reasonable decision is to give money. For those, who still want to bring something special, the following items will be appropriate:

  • a Bible set with a luxurious design
  • a beautiful Tallit (for a boy)
  • traditional jewelry (for a girl)
  • a Challah board

Besides, when selecting a gift, it is vital to consider, how religious the family is, how well you know them, and what gifts they would appreciate the most in order not to make a mistake.

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